Remember what K.Balachander’s Kalki said about the concept of Birthday. I also have same opinion about BD's. I don’t really know why we or I have to celebrate birthday. I think the actual meaning of the birthday itself has changed, people are happy for celebration than for what the celebration is. In my childhood days I too felt happy on my birthday not because I came out of my mother’s womb on the same day some years before but for wearing new dress, eating chocolates and cakes. We use to cut cake and distribute it to all the relatives and neighbors. But my parents stopped doing it after a certain age and also they made our mind not to grieve for it. My father will get anything I want at anytime. I was able to get new dress or chocolate or cake whenever I want, it doesn’t need an occasion like birthday to bring me something that I want.
I was/am/will be always happy no matter what the day is and that makes my birthday a no special day. It is just yet another day of celebration like any other day for me. I don’t celebrate my birthday instead I celebrate birth of every day for being alive and fortunate enough to be in this beautiful world leading a beautiful life. I am blindly and madly optimistic about life. I live the present no matter how my last second went or how my next second would be.
My birthday celebrations in college were little different. We 15 people as a gang started celebrating birthdays grandly by cutting cakes and collectively buying a gift for the birthday baby. Even in those celebrations, I participated just for my friends who have completely different perspective about birthday. They take it very seriously when a close friend doesn’t remember and wish him on a birthday. So, I wish them just for their happiness. Also when they celebrate my birthday and give me gifts, I accept it just because they felt happy by doing so. Is celebrating birthday is a way to expose your love towards one? I don’t think so. I don’t believe in wishing a friend on his birthday after seeing a birthday reminder set some four months before. That kind of remembrance shows no real love or care for the person. Honestly, I don’t remember anyone’s birthday, even my parent, my brother’s or the closest friend’s. They won’t take it seriously if I don’t wish them on their birthday, because they know me. But few of my friends often mistake me when I don’t wish them.
But whenever a year passes, I feel that I have passed yet another year without starting to learn music but even that worry has gone this year. Finally, I started learning music. Yet I feel I should have started much before. Should I say, today is my yet another happy day which most others call as my “Birthday”?
2.28.2006
Birth Of A Day
Posted by P.S. Suresh Kumar at 12:11 AM
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10 comments:
how is pattiyal audio?
Happy B'day suresh!!! :)
See I disagree just a bit, though I agree with you for most of the things.
Couple of things to which I agree:
-> Wishing someone after setting reminder does not show real love. (But for people who remember the birthdays, but forget things on that particular day, this can be excused)
-> Cutting cakes and gifts are those things that has become a formality these days
Couple of things I do not agree:
-> You should try and remember birthdays of friends, atleast for those who mistake you. Though it may not be your character to remember birthdays, you could try to do it for the sake of others happiness. Nothing wrong in this rite?
-> Birthdays are not anyother day. Any day with even a small highlight is different. If birthdays are not different, why special blog posts on ARR on his birthday? (I blindly assumed you would have written one, or atleast i remember that you REMEMBER his birthday!)
Even I was under the same view point as yours. I have written poems that new year day is nothing more than a holiday. But I have changed over years, cant say changed altogether, but just refined myself to get myself aligned with the happiness of others as well.
I guess you will agree with me.
Smiles,
Vinayak
Suresh, Happy B'day!
As for your post, I'm with you completely. I think the interests in celebrating a b-day decreases as people age.
Ask someone who is 90 yr old, they probably won't even rememmber the date or year, not because they can't rememmber but mostly they don't care. Its not important for them.
But if you do rememmber it and make that day special for them, they would be ever so glad that you did rememmbered it. If its a regular affair it isn't special anymore :)
Anon: haven't heard Pattiyal Yet?
Vianayak: Hi, regd Rahman's birthday, i didn't remember even his birthday, as i am a member of Yahoofans group, lot of reminder mails came. Being madly passionate about music, if i would feel happy or celebrate someone's birthday, it would be the birthday of great composers like A.R.Rahman, Illayaraja, Mozart, Beethoven, John Williams, Naushad and many more. If i say i live every moment of my life, the music of these composers plays a vital role in it. It is their music that keeps me going. I really feel they are not mere mortals and their birth and birthday really means a lot to me. Actually i thought of including this in the post but edited it finally.
1) yes ofcourse, that is what i am doing now, i try to remember those friends birthdays who will mistake me. 2) I don't know how it is for others, but to me my birthday is no different from any other day in the year and i think i have given enough reasons for it.
Hey looking at it, we both are actually saying the same things!
Okie whatever ... your birthday is special to us!!!
I am not sure if i will be able to remember your birthday (good that you will not mistake :)!!!), but this day I feel really happy for you on your birthday.
prasad: Thanx
Vinayak: Thanx anyway. We will talk more about this in person.
It shows your maturity and balance in mind that you treat everyday just the same and acccept things as they
come.
But,I beg to differ from your opinion about special days.
Even though you have very high regard for a friend, you don't get the time to express your feelings towards him
.You don't appreciate him without reason.
Days like B'days are meant to do exactly those things that you don't have time to do or dont feel the need to
do daily.
Everyone of us is blessed with the power to make other people happy or special.In our self centric lives we
dont give even a thought to make others happy.
There is nothing that strengthens relationships like open appreciation and well wishes.
I do agree that cuting cakes,gifts and other celebrations are not too
important.But the importance of the day lies in expressing your heart felt feeling towards the other person.
You have the right for not remembering the B'days of your parents and siblings, because they will give you
unconditional love and care no matter whether you reciprocate or not.But with others its different.
You may argue that well wishes and expressing the heart felt feelings can be done on any day does not reqiure a
special day to do.But just give a thought as to how many of us would be able to do the above things in a
ordinary day.
Regards,
Sarathy
Sarathy,
I totally agree with you. In a life where we think about just us, our needs & our emotions it is necessary to have a day where we can express our feelings about others.
Take for example the 'Friendship Day'. If not for that day, would we express the feeling that we greatly cherish the good things that our friends bring to our lifes?
The problem starts happening when we start doing these things(Like wishing 'Happy Friendship Day') mechanically for the sake of doing it. After a point, the essence of the whole thing will be lost & we will be doing it like we do so many of our rituals(Superstitious beliefs).
Thanks,
Howard Roark
Dear Suresh, very nice post. You have exactly described my feelings on this issue as I myself last felt excited about a bday when I was 12, beyond that it wasnt that great a deal. You have written very maturely about this issue. In life it is the meaning of events that count.
Have a good day!(Thats a lot more meaningful than happy bday :))
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